On January 30, February 6, and February 13, I had the pleasure of leading three satsangs on self-inquiry and surrender in cooperation with the spiritual organization Awakening Together. The videos of the events are below.
Am I doing this right? Confusion is natural in the quest for the Self.
Most seekers practicing self-inquiry and surrender inevitably run into confusion and a sense that they're doing the practice wrong. Confusion is natural: these practices only appear to be practices. They are actually pointers to the Self. You are not really doing inquiry or surrender; you ARE inquiry and surrender, in truth. So confusion is natural, because the practice leads you to this conclusion. The practices themselves will be your teacher. Live in the struggle and the uncertainty -- you will be led onward. Also, the real reason for the lack of final clarity in these practices is inevitably because attachment -- caring about the results of things in life, and feeling that you have to engage with them to control them -- is too strong. These attachments are afraid of seeing the truth, so they prevent clarity. Through the practice, attachment weakens, and clarity eventually dawns.
The mind is a grasping instrument and the Truth is non-grasping
The mind attempts to grasp objects for happiness & in looking for the existential truth, but the real Truth is not in any particular object, but in the non-grasping action of the mind. But things become tricky, then, because seekers cannot rest content merely with the mind being in a non-grasping *state* -- such a state comes and goes. The practice must persist until the state is recognized as a reflection of eternal truth.
Akilesh Ayyar interviewed by Awakening Together
The spiritual organization Awakening Together interviewed Akilesh in a live satsang on November 21, 2021. Topics included surrender, self-inquiry, obstacles seekers encounter, and more.
In self-inquiry, you’re not looking for “the I” — you should be looking for yourself!
There's a tendency in inquiry to look for yourself as if you were somewhere or something else. It shows up in language like looking for "*the* I," or, worse, "the observer," "awareness, etc." Remember that you are looking for *yourself*. You are looking for you, what feels like you right now. You are trying to turn the gaze back on yourself.
Subtle traps for the seeker: void/blankness, quiet, bliss, sleep, and laya
The seeker who inquires or surrenders deeply may be tempted to stop at various mind states that seem like the end of the line: states ranging from the futility or impassability of the void to various kinds of bliss. It is important to recognize these states for the traps they are. When you encounter anything that is less than light, clear, freeing, effortless insight that allows for no further questions -- continue.
Interview by Gary Haskins
Gary Haskins interviewed me on nonduality, Ramana Maharshi, and the practice on his Youtube channel The Conscious Perspective.
Self-inquiry and surrender are compatible with other tasks because you are not the doer
Self-inquiry and surrender seem incompatible with other tasks -- how can you concentrate on two things at once? In fact, however, you do not even concentrate on one thing... that is all part of the egoic illusion, which believes itself to be separate and independent. Self-inquiry and surrender appear to be effortful activities, but in fact simply describe the fact of the Self in its eternal status as subject, as turning away from objects.
Clarifying self-inquiry: what does 'who am I' really mean?
The fundamental question behind nonduality and self-inquiry is "Who am I?" Many people get confused by this question, interpreting it in philosophical or psychological terms, or asking it as a kind of koan or mantra. It is not meant to be any of these. Who am I refers to a single specific activity: the activity of trying to hone in on or locate a facet of our own moment-to-moment experience, that part of it which knows "I witness this experience and am not it." As soon as we try to locate this, we find we engage in a chase, because that aspect becomes elusive. Staying on the chase is how we try to answer the question. The I we think we are, the witnessing I, turns out to be a kind of illusion, which reveals the deeper and truer I, the true Self.
Surrender and inquiry are like trying to go to sleep
A useful analogy for a seeker engaged in surrender or self-inquiry is to think about what it's like to go to sleep. To fall asleep, you must relax, close your eyes, and fall away from everything in the waking world. You must let go without expectation. Asking "Am I asleep?", trying to notice the falling-asleep process, or trying to recreate the sleep you had a few weeks ago will all interfere with falling asleep. And the waking one will never know what it is like to be asleep. The seeker must have the same attitude.