On Wednesday, March 31, I spoke online at Conscious Contact, a discussion group dedicated to the teachings of Sri Ramana Maharshi. I covered the basics of self-inquiry and surrender, and answered some questions.
Why self-inquiry is like searching for silence or space
Self-inquiry involves looking into the I, and noticing that it is not what it seems. It seems to be a kind of fixed point, a particular experiencing, doing person who experiences everything that's "out there." But when the I is deeply examined the mind is led to silence or peace. But this silence or peace is, so long as it is noticed as such, is not the final answer. It is a reflection of the final answer. If you were searching for the real definition of silence, a mere pause between words would not be enough -- a deeper silence exists, one which permits both words and the pauses between them to be heard and noticed. If you searching for the definition of space, a place without anything in it would not be that -- it would only be a reflection of it. Space exists even when objects are there. That's because space, like the I, and like silence, are not really objects in themselves.
Self-inquiry should feel like looking for something right here and yet is maddeningly elusive
People confuse self-inquiry with trying to *understand* what the I is intellectually, or to seek the nondual Self. This is incorrect. Self-inquiry is simply looking for that most common, fundamental data point of our experience -- the fact that our experience occurs *to us.* That sense of our own existence and awareness -- which is so obvious, so concrete-seeming -- we try to turn our attention to that. When we do, we find ourselves landing on thoughts, feelings, perceptions -- anything but that. And we refocus. And it happens again. And that continuous practice is self-inquiry. How can something so right here feel so incredibly difficult to grasp? That's what self-inquiry should feel like... until there is a perspective shift.
You ‘forget’ your spiritual practice because part of you doesn’t want to do it
Those who seek Self realization must pursue surrender or self-inquiry at every waking moment. In this effort, many seekers complain that they become forgetful and that their attention wanders. They want to know how to increase their concentration. It's not a matter of increasing concentration.
Forgetfulness happens because of an attachment -- there is an outcome the seeker values or fears, and feels they must focus on to get or avoid. That is what distracts them from surrender or self-inquiry, and it can manifest as forgetfulness. The attention wanders because it *wants* to wander, because there is something that it feels that surrender or self-inquiry will distract it from... and this is what is going on. There is an internal resistance. Just watching and recognizing these resistances helps loosen them.
Self inquiry deals with resistance to the spiritual search by asking whose resistance it is
Resistance to the spiritual search -- in the form of desires, fears, attachments, and so on -- can be dealt with in different ways. It can be dealt with in "non"-spiritual ways, like therapy. It can be dealt with attitudinal changes, like telling yourself that God will take care of everything. But self-inquiry has a different approach to the issue. It simply asks: whose resistance is this? It doesn't directly try to oppose the content of the resistance, doesn't try to argue against it, but merely asks who it is that is aware OF the resistance. That creates a pause and a space that leads to the recognition that these resistances themselves do not belong to the "I" that seems to suffer from them. And this is true not just for spiritual resistances, but indeed for all suffering -- suffering is only a problem if it's "yours," and that's just what self-inquiry questions.
Attachments: the obstacles to spiritual awakening
What are the obstacles to awakening? Those thoughts that distract the mind from inquiry or surrender. And those thoughts come about because of desires and fears that are based on the belief that we are a doing, experiencing person with memories, families, relationships, etc. In order to deal with these attachments, we might need to take a practical or psychological approach of actually pursuing these desires and fears honestly for a while or dealing with them in therapy. Or, if we are courageous, we might simply use self-inquiry or surrender on the negative emotions that arise when we try to combat these distractions... but this takes a degree of faith.
How to deal with resistance to the spiritual search and enlightenment
The spiritual search requires a thorough and consistent turning away from the changing world of thoughts. This happens through consistently maintained surrender or self-inquiry. When that is attempted, there is often going to be resistance. Resistance is simply an inability for whatever reason to keep up the self-inquiry or surrender. It results from the ego's belief that it won't get what it wants or avoid what it fears if it turns away from thought. And of course its pursuit of its desires and fears is also what maintains that very ego. The approach to resistance must be to examine where it happens. Are there patterns and particular situations which provoke it? Next, try to listen to it very carefully and empathetically, trying to express what it is saying. The more you can listen to the feelings associated with that resistance, the better. Next, try to address the concerns of that resistance... perhaps by thinking about facts that shows its fears in a new light -- this can come from speaking with a teacher, reading spiritual materials, or simple reflection. If there are recurring resistances which you cannot understand, turning to psychoanalysis or psychoanalytic therapy can be helpful. Finally, be patient with yourself. You can never outrun what you currently want; you can only be honest with yourself about it. That very honesty will propel you forward.
Trompe l'oeil, the nature of illusion, and enlightenment
Trompe l'oeil refers to a technique in painting that is used to make it seem truly 3D. It's an illusion. The illusion of the I experiencing the world is like that. You might think of it as a series of I-other thoughts, each of which is a painting like that. Self-inquiry and surrender are meant to recognize these illusionary pictures for what they. But the recognition -- or the failure to recognize -- it itself another trompe l'oeil. The illusions are nested, creating an infinite series. One cannot exit them through recognizing them one by one, but, through this series of recognitions, gains the faith that they are ALL illusory, and by that has faith enough to let go into what is continuously beneath all the illusions, what is continuous in their very changes and recognitions.
Surrender and self-inquiry are processes of progressive objectification
What distinguishes surrender and self-inquiry from other techniques which focus on the breath, on a mantra, or on a particular object, is that they are processes of what I call progressive discernment. They are meant to help the seeker recognize what is thought, and, in that recognition, to detach from it. And as you recognize a particular thought, you are caught in another, which you may not even recognize you are caught up in. But through the process of surrender and self-inquiry, you do eventually recognize that that, too -- that strange, vague, feeling, conception, perception, or even silence -- is also a thought. And you recognize and detach from that. Through this process the bounds of thought are eventually and finally recognized and detached from... leaving only the unsayable Self.
Do surrender and self inquiry interfere with activities that involve thinking?
It is a natural complaint of seekers who pursue self-inquiry and surrender at every waking moment, as they should be, that they seem to interfere with activities that seem to require thought. The truth is, however, it is not self-inquiry and surrender that interfere but an unconscious identification with the mind -- with the thinker of thought. The interference, in other words, is an illusion stemming from a wrong belief. The only true solution is further, deeper inquiry and/or surrender.